Episode 18: Shame on You!
- misaengasia
- Dec 1, 2018
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 1, 2018
In episode 18, viewers see several types of shame felt within Korean society. Though shame is universally felt across all cultures, the shame felt in Korean society is different from Canadian society in that it is more about being a collective (Yang and Rosenblatt 2001: 364), therefore one family member’s wrongdoing can affect the public’s perception towards the other members of that family. For example, a naughty child’s behaviour can make his or her parents seem incompetent.
The fact that Young-yi quit her promising job because of the shame she felt due to her father borrowing money from her ex-suprior demonstrates how seriously Koreans take their cheymyon or “face” seriously. Some people may even consider face to be “more valuable than fortune and life” (Brown 2011, 111); for Young-Yi, she definitely considers her “face” to be more valuable than financial stability, given the extremely competitive nature in the Korean job market. Though it is not clear as to why she felt so ashamed, it is possible that she did not want to be seen as a daughter incapable of being a good daughter. Interestingly, we see how filial piety trumps shame within Ahn Young-Yi’s value systems. To her, although her father commited an act that was shameful enough to force her to quit a promising job, she was still willing to keep sending him money (although she does this begrudgingly), but it is probably due to her love towards her mother.
Another instance of shame is the shame of having a daughter. In Korea, having a son means being able to pass down the family name because his children will have his last name. Young-yi reveals that her father was disappointed at the fact that she was a girl, perhaps due to the fear of being judged because his branch on the family tree cannot continue to expand. This is due to the traditional idea that a son will always be a part of the family, whereas a daughter will be a part of her husband’s family after marriage. While the world is moving away from such ideas, the fact that this issue is mentioned in such a recent drama hints that Korea may still have to work on changing their views towards daughters.
On a lighter note, there is the shame felt when Jang Baek-ki buys a gift for Young-yi after being told the dress shirt she bought him was expensive. Though it could be argued that he did this because he has feelings for her, the fact that he only buys the gift for her after knowing the quality of his shirt leads viewers to believe his actions were mainly motivated by shame. The shame felt here is due to the fact that individuals may be seen as ungrateful or rude if he does not reciprocate, potentially reflecting poorly on one’s family. Though reciprocating may be the polite thing to do in other cultures, Koreans may feel even more obligated to do so in order to save “face”
In conclusion, due to the collectivist nature of Korean culture, Koreans are more pressured by shame because it not only reflects badly on themselves, but on their family and loved ones. Shame in Korean society is used to ensure that people convey a positive image, but as shown in this episode, it may also create traumatic experiences for people.
Written By: Johnathan Tao
559 words according to WordCounter
Here are some discussion questions..
1. We know from the previous episodes that the Korean job market is extremely competitive and women are treated poorly in the workplace. With that in mind, if you were in Ahn Young-Yi’s position, would you have been able to justify resigning to save “face”?
2. What are your thoughts on shaming as a way to police behaviour in Korean society?
Bibliography:
Brown, Lucien.“Korean Honorifics and Korean Culture and ‘Revealed’,‘Ignored’,and ‘Suppressed’ Aspects of Korean Culture and Politeness.” In Politeness across Cultures, Edited by Francesca Bargiela-Chiappini and Daniel Kadar.106-127. London: Palgrave Macmillan UK, 2011.
YANG, SUNGEUN, and PAUL C. ROSENBLATT. 2001. Shame in korean families. Journal of Comparative Family Studies 32 (3): 361-75.
Dear all, you have definitely identified shame as a powerful motivator, but not to the point where the highly competitive job market ceases to be a mitigating factor for keeping the job. I suppose it’s another situation where traditional norms clash with these highly modern considerations to produce a very difficult situation.
Like Jonathan has mentioned, the job market in Korea is extremely competitive and on top of that women are often mistreated in the workplace. If I was in An Yeong-i's position, the fact that it is really hard to get a stable job in Korea, even with exceptional skills, would make me rethink my decision to resign from my position. However, with shame playing a big role in Korean society, it would be difficult to keep my position after having lost my face. Being in her situation, perhaps I would have done the same and looked for another job. Speaking of the shaming in Korea, it can often be too cruel for a person to take. I think shaming someone…
I would not resign to save my “face”, because it is quite often in South Korea that women in workplace are treated poorly, so even if I resign and choose another company, the problem is still there. Therefore, it is not An’s wrong and she does not deserve to resign.
As to the shaming problem, just like what Jenny said, it is supposed to make the surrounding humble and harmonious.
I agree that Koreans highly value their "face" and try not to ruin it by any means. Like mentioned in the essay, Korean people often associate it with their family and feel responsible not to put shame on their parents' names and faces. In many cases when someone tries to mock them in any way, people say, "You can call me all the names you want, but don't you dare disrespect my parents." Koreans feel strongly ashamed to bring down their family name because one's wrongdoing can cause others to have a negative impression of the whole family. In this episode, An Yeong-i chose to resign from her position because of the shame she felt, but I would not have…
Indeed, resigning from a position that is difficult to re-attain would have been a difficult decision for Ahn Youngyi. But again, shame felt by Ahn Youngyi would’ve been exponential especially because financial problems had been a traumatic experience for all her life. Realistically speaking, however, I would have kept the position if I were her because saving face is not as significant as risking the career stability for me. Shaming still has a big influence in Korean society so it would be effective in manipulating people’s behaviour, but obviously, it should be used in a way that concords with morality.